i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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