i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
