um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize