we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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