Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
