I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
