Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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