everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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