you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
