guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
