U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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