he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He shit in the fireplace
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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