Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if only i could text you this smell
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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