sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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