It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
