if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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