I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
