I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
