i think my tv is drunk
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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