i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
