We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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