I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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