brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
