YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Randomize
