Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.