we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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