my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
