Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
