My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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