It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
