batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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