Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When did angry sex become our thing?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
