girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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