the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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