I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
