mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
