You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Pooping to opera.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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