You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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