K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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