Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
