Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
