who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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