I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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