Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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