they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
