plz talk dirty to me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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