Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
