Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
