Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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