I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
