I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
