New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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