laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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