Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
